Are a shy, nervous person? Do you feel like everyone around you is getting the things that they want in life while you’re left to take whatever’s available — even if there’s nothing there? Well, you’re definitely in good company so there’s no need to feel bad about this. However, what you will ultimately want to do is learn how to ask for what you want.

It’s not completely your fault — you might have grown up in a culture where asking directly for the things that you want in life is considered rude. Some people feel that directly requesting what you want in life is rude and that it’s better to wait for someone to ask you if you can be helped.

The problem with this is the practice of waiting for someone to notice you means that there are times in your life where no one is going to approach you. No one is going to make sure that you’re okay. No one is going to see if you need anything. And those are the moments where the seeds of resentment can really be planted.

You don’t have to take this lying down, though. You can fight back in a way that preserves your honor without any feelings hurt. The key is to be assertive, not aggressive. There’s nothing that says that you have to raise your voice or use foul language.

The point that you need to drive home is that you are a person that has wants and needs in life too. To accomplish this, you will want to make sure that when you make a request that the specifics are as clear as possible. You don’t have the ability to be vague, because you will be challenged on such a thing. It’s a lot better to make sure that you will be able to counter any backlash you get with grace as well — sometimes people misunderstand that you’re trying to say. As long as you don’t move on the defensive, there’s no reason why you can’t get what you want in the long run.

Sometimes patience is a virtue. After all, when people are used to you being the “doormat”, it can take a while before they actually see you in a different light. It can be very frustrating for people to adjust, but they do with time. If you try to rush them, you’re only going to make it harder for you in the long run to get the things that you ultimately want.

So, where do you start? Think about it — what’s the biggest thing that you want that you’ve been going without? A promotion? A business loan? That special someone that you’ve wanted to ask out on a date for a long time? Whatever it is, you should go for it — never be afraid to ask for what you want!

By Tobias

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